I’m not a big fan of Good Friday services. I struggle to dwell in the unhappy and uncomfortable times of Jesus dying on the cross. I don’t like how it feels and I know the end of the story, so why put myself through that? I don’t like being sad and that’s exactly how Good Friday makes me feel.

There hasn’t been many Easter weekends that have gone by in recent years that I don’t think about Jesus’ final week before dying. I think about Him in the Mt. of Olives and His praying that God would “take this cup”, his sweating drops of blood (as he was in agony), and his feeling let down when He went back to His disciples and they were asleep.

I think about His last supper with His disciples in the upper room. He passed out the food and treated them all the same, even when He knew He was going to be betrayed.

The fact that He could stand and be mocked without ever defending Himself. The ridicule of the soldiers and the cries of the people who said “Crucify Him!” would be emotionally and mentally tiring; and then came the beatings.

I’ll never forget the room they took us to when we were in Jerusalem….the supposed room where Jesus was when they began to lead Him down the Via Dolorosa. It was so unimaginable that I was having a hard time comprehending it all. Then, as we were walking the route Jesus would have taken, it began to rain. The path became slippery and several in our group began to fall. It seemed so fitting to me that just as Jesus fell and could no longer carry His cross, the path was not easy for us to traverse, as well.

Then, there are the hours of 9 am and 3 pm; not only the hours of the temple sacrifices, but the hour they put Jesus on the cross and the hour He died. He was our perfect sacrifice. Our lamb without blemish.

These were all the thoughts going through my mind this past week. I woke early on Easter Sunday morning and couldn’t sleep. As I began to pray and thank God for sending His Son to die for us, I began to cry. I cried out, “Oh, God, I’m so sorry we messed up so badly that You felt the need to send Your Son to die for us. I’m so sorry You had to make that choice. You promised us after Noah that You would never destroy this world again with a flood and You kept Your promise. In doing so, You gave us Your Son as our final sacrifice. I’m so sorry You had to watch Him die. I’m so sorry.”

The tears came. The remorse came. I felt agony.

Then, I felt so humbled that both God and Jesus loved us so much that they gave of themselves to save us: you and me! That is the story of Easter as I see it: God loved us, sent His son, and defeated death through the resurrection. We can now all live because Jesus died for us and rose again! Thanks be to God!

Do you feel unloved today? Take time to soak in the fact that God allowed His Son to die for you! You will never be the same! You can’t feel unloved once you truly soak in that message!

© 2019 Susan M. Sims

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