I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how I feel and trying to figure out how to solve life’s issues right now. I’ve come up with nothing. I have no solution, I can’t fix my problems or your problems. Something seems wrong about my not being able to make things right. Will school ever be in person for our senior, should they stay online, should they go in person…so many questions without answers.

For those who know me well, you know I love personality quizzes and how I enjoy exploring more about the enneagram. I’m a type 1, so the fact that this world is less than perfect right now is just about to drive me crazy.

As I’ve gone to the Lord in prayer these past few weeks, I’ve been pretty numb. The word of God has been a balm to my soul and yet I continued to feel there should be something new to say to God. I felt I needed to do more. I didn’t even know how I felt about anything to know how best to pray. My time with Him has ended in my thanking Him for calming my soul, praying He would be with those who needed Him, and ending with an attitude of “thy will be done”.

Writing down my thoughts have seemed to help and doing things I’ve put off for awhile has been good for my soul. I’m just not used to feeling stuck for so long without feeling I’m getting better in a certain area of life or learning a new skill. In some ways, this has created emotions of scarcity, uncertainty, and isolation.

Realizing these emotions have impacted me like waves beating on the sand day after day, I have continued to thank God for His presence in my life because I must remind myself that God is in control through the chaos. Just like the waves beating on the sand, I’m constantly reminded that God is keeping those waves on the sand and they are contained to the beach.

Just like we have mixed emotions, we have mixed signals sent to us all day long; in the news, on the internet, from our friends and family, and in our minds. Will we focus on the differences and the negative or on the peace that passes all understanding? It’s okay to have peace during turmoil. Are they opposites? Usually. We must allow God to work with us through our emotions and realize that it is God holding us up and it’s not in our own strength or power. Allow Psalm 23 to be a balm to your soul today as it’s been a good reminder for me these past few months.

The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside quiet waters. He restores my soul; He guides me in the paths of righteousness for His name’s sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil, for You are with me. Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; You have anointed my head with oil; My cup overflows. Surely goodness and lovingkindness will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.

Psalm 23 (NASB)

© 2020 Susan M. Sims

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